Azrael Angel of Death
by Paffy
Summary: A one chapter story about my take on the end of Lily Evan's belief in the wizarding world.


It was my fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and my past years have been a mixture of happiness, grief and fear. A shadow lies across the hearts of the magical community, a nameless fear lurking in the shadows. You don't trust new people, you don't speak to strangers, you stay in large groups, you can never be alone.

Families have been ripped apart as the random killings of loved ones hit us when we least expect it. Before the beginning two years ago, we were happy, I had finally found a place I fit in, finally had friends who understood me. But now, it's all changed. The morning post brings letters of condolences and the newspaper is filled with nothing but bad news.

It started off quietly, every now and then somebody was found. Unknown cause of death with nothing but a look of fear on their face. Then the incidents became more frequent, patterns began to emerge and a whisper began to spread throughout the community. A whisper of a dark wizard and his followers, too frightened to speak his name, he was known as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and in frightened, lowered tones his followers were named 'Death Eaters'.

I myself have named him. Azrael, a bible name meaning Angel of Death. For that is what he is, a bringer of death that swoops down when you least expect it, and that's when your world crumbles. When everything changes. Where, in one second your once happy life collapses all around you. 

For a long time I tried to understand the pain that it caused, nodded sympathetically, lent my shoulder for people to cry on, knowing it would never happen to me. My family was indestructible, things like that didn't happen to us. But then in one day, in one second, the time comes when you understand, and you need the sympathy, and you need the shoulder to cry on.

I should know. It happened to me.

This is my story.

I had been sitting in the Great Hall when the post arrived, my muggle family never got the hang of using owls to deliver the post so very rarely got letters and today was no exception. I contented myself with watching the thousands of owls glide overhead, watching as newspapers were deposited to hundreds of students. It looked like bad news was being received as many people looked at their newspapers in shock and disbelief. I felt my stomach sink, worrying about the people who would feel this news the worst, the family and friends of the victims.

I ate my cereal in silence, not wanting to think about depressing stuff first thing of a morning, but a crack of thunder from above told me the weather was allying itself with the sombre mood settling amongst the student population. Only the Gryffindor 4th year boys were sniggering quietly to themselves. Obviously they were plotting something and I smiled slightly, pity the poor fool.

Before I had time to contemplate what they were doing, my best friend Dawn sat down next to me. I was used to Dawn not speaking, she rarely did – but this was a different kind of silence. It was heavy, oppressive, suffocating. I turned to her.

"What's wrong?" I asked her hurriedly, she had a look of utmost despair on her face.

"Dumbledore wants to see you, something's wrong," was all she managed to stutter out, fear widening her eyes.

I jumped up, my heart in my throat and ran out of the hall. I knew what this meant, I've seen friends and students go through the same thing. A private meeting with Dumbledore, and then nothing but tears and pale, drawn faces. But it couldn't happen to me.

I'll never know how I made my way to Dumbledore's office, but in an instant I was there sitting in an uncomfortable wooden chair, listening to the unthinkable.

"…I'm very sorry Lily" he said quietly, as tears sprang to my eyes, "I realise this has come as a terrible shock"

I took a shuddering gasp and rocked backwards and forwards in my chair. All I could hear was a ringing in my ears, as the words Dumbledore spoke echoed around my pounding head.

"When…when did it happen?" I managed to whisper through my constricting throat.

"This morning, your sister had already left for school. It was over before help arrived" 

I gave a choked sob, raising a horrified hand to my mouth. The silence settled over the room like an oppressive cloud, broken only by the sound of my voice.

"Did they…suffer?" I asked when I had recovered, surprised at how weak and quiet my own voice sounded.

"When the end came Lily, it was swift" answered Dumbledore.

I knew what that meant, they had suffered, terribly. But in the end, the final death curse would have been quick and painless. The Angel of Death had come, and this time he had taken my parents.

"And the reason for this?" I demanded as my eyes streamed, feeling fury at the murderers, and pain for my parents at once.

"There was no reason," Dumbledore told me.

"I demand a reason! I don't lose my parents for no reason! Two people are not murdered for no reason!" I cried through a now hoarse throat.

"I'm afraid in these dark times they are Lily," said Dumbledore seriously, "And I understand how that will be little comfort to you."

"No…N…No, you d…don't! You don't understand at all!" I cried, stumbling over my words between great shuddering gasps for breath.

Dumbledore said nothing as I dissolved into tears, howling in misery, sitting for an immeasurable amount of time, lost in my grief. Eventually my tears subsided, but in their wake they left a terrible emptiness that consumed me, like a black hole that drew me into myself.

"I am always here to talk Lily, now I suggest you go back and seek the comfort of your friends. Arrangements shall be made," said Dumbledore kindly, as I stood up numbly.

I walked towards the door, and acknowledged Dumbledore before I descended the stairs. I gazed unseeingly ahead as entered the corridor, not sure what to do with myself. I was late for classes, but couldn't face them today so I walked own the cold corridor, shivering in cold or fear. 

I was all alone in the world now, my family had been taken away from me. It was too soon, my parents were meant to die when they were old and grey and peaceful, not shrieking in pain at the hands of the inhumane thing that was Voldemort.

I became aware of footsteps behind me, of someone moving in the stealthily silent way I had come to recognise as one person. I turned around and saw Dawn standing there, terror etched across her face.

"What did he want?" she asked slowly, as her outline became blurred with the fresh wave of tears forming in my eyes.

I tried to reply but my throat too tight. I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears and was pulled into a long hug from Dawn, she'd already knew before she'd asked me. I sobbed and sobbed until I didn't think I had anymore strength left inside of me, all the time Dawn standing in silence, smoothing my hair down.

Eventually I pulled away, glad that for the moment I didn't have to speak, I didn't trust my voice to work even if I tried.

"I'll always be there for you," she choked out, her own tears rolling down her face, it must have been at the memory of when our roles had been reversed and I had to comfort her.

I nodded dumbly, not really believing it though. My parents were always going to be there for me, and now…

"I wish I could believe that," I sobbed as more tears coursed down my face, "I really do."

*

The next few weeks were my very worst at Hogwarts, in my life even. No longer was the castle and the entire magical world mysterious and exciting, it was a dangerous and terrifying place to live in. And one night, when I was gazing into the fire I wished with all my strength I could go back to the day when I was eleven, when I got my Hogwarts letter and rip it to pieces.

I hate this world, as interesting and exciting as it used to be, it had been nothing more than a spell, shattered now by a powerful counter curse and I felt that I could never cast it again – I was scared, lost and alone. A million miles away from my friends who had their own pain to deal with but who tried anyway.

I wanted nothing more than to be sitting in my high school, doing normal things like doing maths and science and have to worry about nothing more than whether my school shirt was tucked in and my tie was long enough. I didn't want have to worry about murderers and curses that caused pain beyond measure, about death and destruction. I didn't want to grow up in a world like this.

It wasn't fair.

And nobody understood, they had grown up in this world, they couldn't imagine anything different, they couldn't imagine school trips to the swimming pools, going to the cinema with friends, going shopping in town for an afternoon.

Life wasn't fair – and I didn't want this life anymore.

And I found a release from my grief in the only way I could, anger. I knew I was hurting my friends and classmates around me, but who cares, graduation day I would pick up my diploma and I would walk out of platform 9 ¾ for the last time and never go back, Lily Evans would be leaving the magical world.

When they did try to talk to me, it wouldn't be for very long and I would soon get rid of them, blazing rows would follow those who tried to stand they're ground and soon people began to learn. 

Stay away from Lily Evans.

THE END

AN/ It was just a short story, to illustrate how thing might have gone along. There's no plans for extra chapters, this storyline's been done to a death! Just hope you enjoyed this take on things.


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